About 'THE TURTLES'

WELCOME TO THE INTERNATIONAL ORDER OR TURTLES (I O.T.) . WE ARE A CLOSE NIT GROUP OF FOLKS WHO LOVE LIFE, FAMILY, FRIENDS AND GOOD TIMES . WE ARE NOT A MOTORCYCLE CLUB. WE ARE FIRST OF ALL TURTLES SOME OF US DO RIDE MOTORCYCLES. SO BEFORE ANYONE GETS ANY MISCONCEPTIONS, WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GOOD TO CLEAR THAT UP.

WE DO HAVE A PATCH BUT IT IS THE SYMBOL OF LONG LIFE AND PROSPERITY. THE PATCH IS A SYMBOL OF THE INTERNATIONAL ORDER OF TURTLES. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RIDE A BIKE TO BE A TURLTE. ALL THAT IS REQUIRED IS A SIMPLE TEST.  WE ARE NOT A FRATERNAL BROTHERHOOD. MEN AND WOMEN ARE BOTH WELCOME TO BE A PART OF THE  I. O. T.

 IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN BEGINNING A CHAPTER OF THE TURTLES , CONTACT US. WE'LL BE HAPPY TO ASSIST HOWEVER WE CAN.

INTERNATIONAL ORDER OF TURTLES  CREED

1) Turtles are bright eyed, bushy tailed, and fearless with a fighter pilot attitude. They think clean (most of the time), have fun (all the time), and recognize the fact that you never get any place worthwhile in life unless you stick your neck out.

2) The Turtles are guided by three words Respect, Brotherhood, and Honor.  "Turtles" are an illustrious group and include in their membership ranks some of the country's foremost leaders in government, finance, entertainment, aerospace and other areas where aggressiveness, a feeling for fair play, and a sense of humor are keys to success. Started by a group of test pilots during W.W.II, the club has progressed to its present position as one whose membership is diligently sought after and highly esteemed by those lucky enough to be initiated.

3) Adherence to the creed and always giving the password when asked are the only responsibilities placed on our membership. You will find that life is more fun and takes on new meaning when you are a "Turtle". Welcome to the group.

The History of the International Order of Turtles

As a neophyte of the I.O.T., you must be interested in the history of this great organization. Our organization IS truly international in scope and with the initiation of the astronauts in 1962 it might be said we are even interplanetary.

The I.O.T. was founded on the Isle of Mann in the year 460 B.C. At that time on the Isle of Mann there were very few means of transportation. There were no automobiles, no subways, no buses, no trains, no streetcars, and even no planes. The only means of transportation were donkeys left behind after the Celtic invasion of the 5th Century B.C. Every man, woman, and child, on the Isle of Mann, had a donkey (an ass). Everyplace they went they took their ass along if they went to work, to school, or to the supermarket they went on their ass. Since their asses meant so much to them, and made such an impression on their lives, they naturally took tremendous pride in their asses.

It is said that in some communities contests were held to see who had the nicest asses in town. Here, today, you will find people with pride in their automobiles. On the Isle of Mann it was their asses that held their interest. Today you will see whole families on a sunny Sunday afternoon out in the yard polishing their cars. On the Isle of Mann they would be polishing up their asses. Today you will see young fellows standing around watching the girls go by in their convertibles. Over there they loved to stand on the corner and watch the girls asses go by. Today, teenagers can hardly wait until they can buy some kind of jalopy. On the Isle of Mann they could hardly wait until they were old enough to get a little ass. As you can readily see, asses were of great importance on the Isle of Mann. In fact, it is often said that some even tried to make asses of themselves.

Of course, everyone went to church. And naturally, when they went into the church, they left their asses outside. And everyone had a particular place that he left his ass including the minister, who always left his parked right by the well. In the tiny Isle of Mann community where history was to be made, on that famous Sunday in August, the Rev. McGeorge McYertle was the minister.

On that particular August day in the middle of the service, the church caught fire. To this day, the cause of the fire is still undetermined, although defective wiring has definitely been ruled out. Well, when the church caught fire, everyone was concerned. Naturally, everyone wanted to save his ass so they all rushed outside, with the exception of the Rev. Mcyertle, who was caught in the front of the church with no place to go but up into the bell tower. So he did, feeling assured that his parishioners would be putting out the fire. Imagine his dismay when he looked down at the scene below! All his parishioners were just sitting around on their asses watching the church burn! So he started to cry for help. They heard his cries and now, the problem: How to get him down? No ladder would reach so high. Someone got the idea that perhaps he could jump on a load of hay which would break his fall. They brought up a load of hay, but alas, it, too, caught on fire. Someone thought of a net, but no nets were available. And then one fellow got a brilliant idea. The history is not quite clear as to who it was, although we feel that it was Angus McPherson, who got the idea that if he were to just jump and land on his ass, it would break the fall and he would be saved. So they all took up the cry: Jump and land on your ass! Jump and land on your ass! You can imagine the minister's terror at this point. He certainly didn't want to leap that tremendous distance to where he could see his ass tied by the well so far below.

As the smoke and flames rose higher and higher, he had no choice. Finally, with tremendous intestinal fortitude he took a mighty leap and down through the heavens he hurtled. Unfortunately, instead of landing on his ass, he went into the well. Ever since, they have said that this particular minister didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

After they got him out of the well, dried off, and back on his ass he started back to the parsonage. As he was going down the dusty road, out from under the lapel of his tunic crawled a little green turtle. He took this turtle home and started to feed and nourish it giving it tender loving care. Under his care the turtle grew and thrived. However, the remarkable thing was that from that day forward it seemed that the minister could do no wrong his whole life changed for the better. His fortunes grew, and he became the wealthiest minister on the Isle of Mann.

It is because of this story that McGeorge McYertle, on a hot Sunday afternoon in August on the Isle of Mann in the year 460 B.C. founded the I.O.T. And it is also because of this history that we have our password. We assume that all {prospective} turtles own a jackass. If a fellow turtle ever asks you, Are you a turtle? you must then reply with the password. And procure new members!